There are many things I want to post about. Lately the one that has been coming
to my head is the answer to the question, "What is a panic attack like?"
My first inward response is that they are exhausting mentally, physically, emotionally
exhausting when it’s all done. When the "episode" is over you feel
like you just ran a marathon and you just want to sleep. We need to back up a
little though to really get the whole picture.
For most people what sets off panic attacks can be something subliminal that the brain latches onto. Often it is something that triggers a memory of an instance where you felt hurt. For other people it is triggered by a social situation. Either public speaking or being in large groups. Panic attacks can be a blessing, because if you understand you are having one it will help you know if you have a greater problem like depression. It can also be just plane annoying. Especially if you have them while your trying to give a presentation or have them more then once in a day.
Looking at it from the physical side a panic attack is when your brain goes into hyper drive and starts the adrenaline release for the "fight or flight" reaction. Even for people who are on medication and in counseling episodes will still occur. Panic attacks can last hours or minutes. The most severe last at least a day. There is a general scale that most psychologists use to help you understand how bad your panic attacks are. Which is really just a questionnaire they want you to answer. I personally have a like/ hate relationship with this questionnaire. I don't like the questionnaire; because during a panic attack the doctors are asking you the questions, and you can't think clearly or focus. But why I do like the questionnaire is because when you aren't having a panic attack, taking the questionnaire is eye opening, it helps you realize how bad they may really be for you. The trick is to not excuse some of your symptoms you have, and to be completely honest when answering the questions.
I want to share the story of my first panic attack, it was severe enough that I can still remember. Hopefully this will help some of you see if you have them as well. I was 18, I hadn't been sleeping very well for the last few days, so I decided to stay up late again reading a book. At about midnight just as I was in the middle of reading, I started to feel unsettled. Sort of like a nagging in the back of my mind that something was wrong. I started to think about that feeling, and tried to figure out why I was having it. I remembered the lack of sleep, the stress about school, and some major family issues that had been going on the last few days. As I thought on some of the problems the feelings became more intense. My mind kept going over the problems. It was like a tornado of thought that just wouldn't settle. Just like the train sound that comes with a tornado I felt like my thoughts were shouting at me. As I sat there on the couch I felt my whole body tense so much that I was visibly shaking. I thought for sure something bad was about to happen at any second. I had this insurmountable fear that some one was going to come to our front door and break it down. So I walked to the front door and kept looking through the peep hole every once in a while. Nobody was there. I sat there on the couch till six in the morning. With these thoughts in my head. Over and over I thought that if I just stayed awake, and watched the front door nothing bad was going to happen to my family. At six in the morning my mother woke up, when I saw her my thoughts just calmed down, and I was exhausted. My body stopped being tense, my breathing became more even, but I was shaking now from exhaustion. I finally moved off the couch and crawled into bed. But I was convinced that I had some how kept my family safe from some danger that may or may not come.
It took a few years until I found out that those moments were panic attacks. What changed everything was when I started having panic attacks at least once a day. It was a few years after that first intense episode. I was in a high stress situation. One in which I really wanted to be able to succeed, but felt like everyday I was failing. During this time in my life I had a dear friend who was constantly with me. After a few weeks of seeing me go through this they openly approached me about what was happening. Helping me see that it wasn't normal, and I didn't have to be so miserable. I sought out help with my heart aching hoping to finally get control of my life. It was one of the scariest things I had ever done. The idea that I could set goals and achieve them? Crazy. Being told that it's more normal to be happy or content most of the time instead of deep sadness was like offering a kid their golden ticket to the chocolate factory. I was really, really, scared. I was scared that if I took medication I would become numb to any feelings. I was scared the medication wouldn't work or the counseling wouldn't help. Worst of all, I was scared that having these terrible panic attacks, was my normal.
Thankfully, I was able to get help and support from people whom I hold very dear to me now. I was seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist that I finally felt comfortable with. I felt like they really wanted to help me and address my concerns. I felt listened to for once instead of feeling like an experiment. I had tried counseling a few times in my teens and I always felt like they never were listening to me. Some counselors would listen to me, and empathize yet I didn't think they understood how bad things were for me. I would tell them how I was applying things that they wanted me to, and that it was helping so far then they would say, "If you feel okay with it I think we could see less of each other." I don't blame the therapists I saw. I believe each therapist has there own form of working through issues with their patients, but I am a little sad that it took me until my twenties to find therapists who I felt I connected to.
For those of you who are suffering through panic attacks or disorders I really feel that your support group is what makes a huge difference. I felt listened to and not pitied. I was also able to have a plan on how to deal with my episodes. Which is what I wanted to list for you who are reading.
So to begin, It starts as a tightness in the chest, a racing of thoughts, a quickening of the breath, some times even a dull head ache. Then those symptoms increase and you feel like you are almost drowning in them. These are the tricks I have learned to help.
For most people what sets off panic attacks can be something subliminal that the brain latches onto. Often it is something that triggers a memory of an instance where you felt hurt. For other people it is triggered by a social situation. Either public speaking or being in large groups. Panic attacks can be a blessing, because if you understand you are having one it will help you know if you have a greater problem like depression. It can also be just plane annoying. Especially if you have them while your trying to give a presentation or have them more then once in a day.
Looking at it from the physical side a panic attack is when your brain goes into hyper drive and starts the adrenaline release for the "fight or flight" reaction. Even for people who are on medication and in counseling episodes will still occur. Panic attacks can last hours or minutes. The most severe last at least a day. There is a general scale that most psychologists use to help you understand how bad your panic attacks are. Which is really just a questionnaire they want you to answer. I personally have a like/ hate relationship with this questionnaire. I don't like the questionnaire; because during a panic attack the doctors are asking you the questions, and you can't think clearly or focus. But why I do like the questionnaire is because when you aren't having a panic attack, taking the questionnaire is eye opening, it helps you realize how bad they may really be for you. The trick is to not excuse some of your symptoms you have, and to be completely honest when answering the questions.
I want to share the story of my first panic attack, it was severe enough that I can still remember. Hopefully this will help some of you see if you have them as well. I was 18, I hadn't been sleeping very well for the last few days, so I decided to stay up late again reading a book. At about midnight just as I was in the middle of reading, I started to feel unsettled. Sort of like a nagging in the back of my mind that something was wrong. I started to think about that feeling, and tried to figure out why I was having it. I remembered the lack of sleep, the stress about school, and some major family issues that had been going on the last few days. As I thought on some of the problems the feelings became more intense. My mind kept going over the problems. It was like a tornado of thought that just wouldn't settle. Just like the train sound that comes with a tornado I felt like my thoughts were shouting at me. As I sat there on the couch I felt my whole body tense so much that I was visibly shaking. I thought for sure something bad was about to happen at any second. I had this insurmountable fear that some one was going to come to our front door and break it down. So I walked to the front door and kept looking through the peep hole every once in a while. Nobody was there. I sat there on the couch till six in the morning. With these thoughts in my head. Over and over I thought that if I just stayed awake, and watched the front door nothing bad was going to happen to my family. At six in the morning my mother woke up, when I saw her my thoughts just calmed down, and I was exhausted. My body stopped being tense, my breathing became more even, but I was shaking now from exhaustion. I finally moved off the couch and crawled into bed. But I was convinced that I had some how kept my family safe from some danger that may or may not come.
It took a few years until I found out that those moments were panic attacks. What changed everything was when I started having panic attacks at least once a day. It was a few years after that first intense episode. I was in a high stress situation. One in which I really wanted to be able to succeed, but felt like everyday I was failing. During this time in my life I had a dear friend who was constantly with me. After a few weeks of seeing me go through this they openly approached me about what was happening. Helping me see that it wasn't normal, and I didn't have to be so miserable. I sought out help with my heart aching hoping to finally get control of my life. It was one of the scariest things I had ever done. The idea that I could set goals and achieve them? Crazy. Being told that it's more normal to be happy or content most of the time instead of deep sadness was like offering a kid their golden ticket to the chocolate factory. I was really, really, scared. I was scared that if I took medication I would become numb to any feelings. I was scared the medication wouldn't work or the counseling wouldn't help. Worst of all, I was scared that having these terrible panic attacks, was my normal.
Thankfully, I was able to get help and support from people whom I hold very dear to me now. I was seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist that I finally felt comfortable with. I felt like they really wanted to help me and address my concerns. I felt listened to for once instead of feeling like an experiment. I had tried counseling a few times in my teens and I always felt like they never were listening to me. Some counselors would listen to me, and empathize yet I didn't think they understood how bad things were for me. I would tell them how I was applying things that they wanted me to, and that it was helping so far then they would say, "If you feel okay with it I think we could see less of each other." I don't blame the therapists I saw. I believe each therapist has there own form of working through issues with their patients, but I am a little sad that it took me until my twenties to find therapists who I felt I connected to.
For those of you who are suffering through panic attacks or disorders I really feel that your support group is what makes a huge difference. I felt listened to and not pitied. I was also able to have a plan on how to deal with my episodes. Which is what I wanted to list for you who are reading.
So to begin, It starts as a tightness in the chest, a racing of thoughts, a quickening of the breath, some times even a dull head ache. Then those symptoms increase and you feel like you are almost drowning in them. These are the tricks I have learned to help.
·
Try to get to a place where you feel safe. Whether it be your
bedroom, pulling the car over, but get to a quite spot.
·
Do not try and push the feelings away.
·
Sit, lie down, or stand still for a little as you begin to feel
the panic attack come on.
·
Focus on your breathing train your mind on the ins and outs of
your breath.
·
Keep a picture of some one or something that is calming to you
near by so you can focus on that image while you let the feelings wash over
you.
·
Slowly concentrate on relaxing each and every muscle starting
from your toes up.
·
When it finally passes think back to what has happened through
out the last few days. What has reminded you of a past traumatic event? What
emotions have you been feeling lately?
·
Finally write down what you feel has been triggering your panic
attacks so you can be aware of your triggers and find healthy ways to deal with
them.
I hope this post
also helps both those who suffer from panic attacks and for those who support
people someone suffers from them. You do not have to be afraid
of panic attacks, and the more you can learn to address them, the less you will
suffer from them. Panic attacks are not something you have to suffer with all
the time. There are
other ways to deal with the challenges we face in life and you can learn to be
in control.
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